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Aaack! ok ok. I just got home from work, and in my mailbox was a package. Well, an envelope, but it was one of those biggies. I forget how exciting it is to recieve actual, physical, mail from people. In it was a zine about tea, and a lovely card, and another zine which is a reprint of Mother Earth from 1914 with an essay by Emma Goldman. My friend Jaime had promised to send me this zine some weeks ago at the Free Mind grand opening and I'd been anticipating it greatly.
See I love tea. I believe she has called me a tea freak, but I prefer to consider myself more of a jonny tea-seed, or teavangelist. There is nothing like a good cup of tea, and I'll be the first to admit I have a healthy dose of tea snobbery. I like my tea black, strong, and not at all flowery. People like herb teas, and other lesser greens and blacks, but for me nothing beats a good thick cup of Irish Breakfast, except for perhaps a particularly smokey Lapsang Souchong. And I like to think that I've inspired others to start drinking tea by my interest and endless nattering about how good it is.
So Jamie sent me this zine and I began reading it. It's good, clearly whoever put this together understands the tea thing. I wish I'd known about it before as I would've love to contributed to it, but alas. As I'm reading it I notice it's dedicated to Vadellia and Scottyj. Hm. I don't normally refer to myself as ScottyJ so I don't immediately put it together (note to those in the audience who are snickering at my slowheadedness: I didn't realize that Jamie helped put this zine out). Allow me the egocentric indulgence of quoting the dedication, as I don't think I've ever had something dedicated to me before:

"The love of tea, tobacco, the high seas and flowerfields. All one needs is a little bit of conviction, desire, passion and patience. This zine shares the magic of tea, dedicated to two of the biggest dreamers an sweetest tea drinkers I know, you've taught me so much. Thank you. "

Whoa, I think to myself. It's eerie how much this 'other' scottyj sounds like me...yes the penny still hasn't dropped. I keep reading and come to "Tea Freakdom Theory" which I will republish here:

"Now, this may not hold true for all tea freaks, as with most things truth is whatever your brain thinks is real, (((Actually the line is "whatever your brian thinks is real" which is a better line really))) I think this is a pretty good theory: People will not become obsessed with tea unless they are former coffee drinkers who have quit coffee (for whatever reason). let me tell you of my reasoning, through noticing patterns. Scottyj. When Scottyj and I meet he was always talking about & drinking tea (really I was puzzled and thought it was a bit over the top) tea was brought up in conversation, more than that average person might want to chat and drink and chat more about tea. I didn't really understand & I still might not fully cuz I never asked, but this is only an observation. So one day when we were hanging out I noticed a tatoo of COFFEE, yes a coffee cup on his forearm. (((Yup. I finally guessed it might be me))) I sound found out that he is an x-coffee lover turned true tea freak....I had no idea that two years and 1000+ soy lattes later I would know exactly what was going on. A deep understanding for the path that may lead some to tea freakdom, you either get it or you don't- Traits you'll find in coffee yearning tea obsessors: Always talking about tea. Excited about and know tea types. They feel really proud ordering tea at coffee shops. And again we talk more about tea than you might like. We ALWAYS REALLY want or at least THINK about COFFEE- it's true. And late at night you might find us on a solo mission at the nearby cafe 'sneaking' a latte or americano."

Now I love Jamie. But I actually have to disagree with her on the premise that tea-freakdom is merely covering for coffee-lust. I'll say this because I have gone back to the dark side. I drink coffee again, and lots of it, and can fairly assess both sides of the fence. I gave up coffee because i was suffering from some bad stomach problems that coffee was exasperating, but while that forced me into drinking tea more seriously than I would've, I found that I love tea more than I ever loved coffee. Sadly my freakdom is not a cover for a supressed desire, but the truly geeky embrace of tea on it's own merits. I drink coffee again because I can, but also because I've grown into a true tea snob. I'd rather drink coffee than a badly made cup of tea. And my tastes have become so rareified that it's nigh on impossible to find a good cup of tea. Laurel can make a good cup, Meredith can make a brilliant pot, but sadly that's about it. Everybody else, from friends and family to cafes, can't make a good cup of tea. Also, I can't make a good cup of tea at work, so I drink coffee. You need 3 things to make a good cup of tea: BOILING water, strong tea (Campbell's, Yorkshire Gold), and cold fresh milk. Without enought good tea, and BOILING water all you get is an insipid, watery, mess. It reminds me of Douglas Adams machine in HHG2TG that can make a drink that is almost, entirely, unlike tea. I feel that he was talking about American tea making skills here. I like milk in my tea, and while some may scoff, I think it's quite good. I urge you all out there to try a good cup of tea sometime, it's restorative effects are far greater than you might imagine. And to Jamie, thanks for sending me the zine, and dedicating it to me. I'm deeply honored, and pleased that my incessent babbling about tea managed to convert another formerly lost soul.
"What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea." -Syndey Smith